Confidence Is Dope. Bragging? Not So Much

I simply adore my confident brothers and sisters out there, let me put that on front street. Media will perpetuate that within the Black urban community, those that are doing well for themselves are rappers or basketball players, or dope boys, or less than stellar individuals who hustle their way through life on the not so up-and-up. But there are also those of us who are out there on the daily living professional lives in our fields grinding it out and making a good living while doing so. We are living the good life because we work hard and devote so much of our days to our prospective occupations and endeavors and for that, we indulge.

But this blog post is not in reference to those individuals. The individuals whom I'd like to discuss are those out there with "new money" and they have to floss what they have in order to get attention. Let me break down what I mean so you can understand the essence.

I have a good friend. He's a guy. This past weekend before I left, we hung out. We ate at a fine dining restaurant here in the Lou called Brio and afterwards we went to see one of his boys perform at a club in the Loop. 

He kept saying during the meal that this place was so this and so that. And yes it was. It went without saying. Brio was nothing new to me, I had been there several times. But the way he talked, it was like wanted me to be impressed that he chose such a nice dining establishment. NOPE! LOL.

During the whole entire meal, he went on and on about his new E Class Benz that he purchased a few weeks ago. Now, I for one, congratulated him on his purchase when he sent me a picture mail on my phone of him standing next to it. But during dinner he talked about his new Benz, and his new loft downtown, and the fact that he was going to Aruba in February and this and that. I refer to this as new money because when people that have had money for awhile don't have to throw it out there that they have money. Those who haven't had it that long seem to be more braggadocious about it. He and I used to have deep conversations about hella stuff and the dinner seemed to be filled with his latest and greatest purchases.

No I am not jealous. Again, I applaud homeboy for being able to afford the things that he wants. I love that he has flow like that. But I am no bump on a log myself. I don't have a Benz, but I do very well thank you. Plus, would rather be measured by my character, not by the money that is in my bank account.

I told him that.

His reply to me is that he is a good catch because all the ladies see him on a come-up and now he has to beware of gold diggers. And I am almost certain that that is a true statement. But speaking about your have's most certainly will attract the gold digger type of chick, don't you think? I told him to marinate on that and he simply laughed.

The money has gone to his head.

I also sensed that his bragging and continuous talk of money really displayed the fact that he was insecure. He would rather discuss his latest vacation and 5 Star hotel visit than talk about himself, the man, as if his worthiness depended on his platinum Amex. SMH. This was a person that I so loved hanging out with and kicking it with and now there is mostly silence between us because it's all about him.

What he displayed that evening wasn't confidence at all. A confident person can have all of the swag (yes I said we need to bury the word swag but let me use it just this once) and have not a penny to his name because his worth is not measured by his money, but he himself. That is the type of brother I am attracted to, not some chocolate Ritchie Rich who is really a scared little boy on the inside.

We were such good friends. I don't know what is going to happen to us now because I can't put up with the whole bling bling conversations. I'd rather just hang onto my memories.