Lovers. &. Friends.

We all know that mixing friendship and sex and love and all of that can be a recipe for toxicity. Right now, I am feeling that I am delving into matters and situations with someone close to me that is causing me to break that forbidden and sometimes, unspoken rule. 

Question:

Can men and women be friends. Platonic. No sex?

Answer:

Yes. I have several male friends with whom I am strictly friends with and we haven't gone into that forbidden territory. Of course, some will say that men and women can be friends but there is always that "want" for one or the other or both to eventually have sex. There is always that attraction. And I do agree with that to a certain extent. But I do have friends who are male that I do not feel attracted to whatsoever and they aren't attracted to me (or so they say). So let's say the jury is still out on that one.

But let's get back to the topic at hand. I have a friend who is male and the two of us have been friends for a few years. Now this is a little different because I do believe we have been attracted to each other even before I divorced (more on my divorce later). Anyway, he and I have been kicking it ALOT I would say over the past several months and it we kissed for the first time in over two years last month. It could have went farther but I think we both knew that if it did, we would be at the point of no return and neither one of us are prepared for that.

Shit. He is so cool. And we have a lot in common. We both adore music and the way to my heart, or at least the map, always involves music. And with the new year upon us, I don't want to count him out because we are such good friends. But I also don't want to ruin the wonderful friendship we have built. He is very important to me and I don't think trying to make something between us would be worth potentially damaging our friendship.

This sucks.

Tonight we spoke for a half hour or so and neither of us were confident or comfortable enough with bringing up our pending "relationship"exploring it further. But I must admit, the thought of possibly being his woman, walking beside him, holding his hand, having his back, cooking his dinner and rubbing him down at night is quite appealing. I think about it often. Although, hell, neither one of us are ready for that. He just got out of  relationship a few months prior and I just divorced last October. So we are still healing from the past.

I don't wanna hold onto falsehoods. But I don't want to let go either.

I get wet when I see him. When we kissed and our bodies connected and he held me in his arms, I was ready to burst. When I am around him, I feel tingly and warm and fuzzy all at the same time. I can't front.

What's a girl to do?

The Bish Is So Heartless

Someone told me this was girlfriend season BUT it seems more like heartbreak season around these parts. If one more fella tells me that their woman is on some other ish, I will pass the hell out. I guess all the break-ups must come before Christmas so peeps can save their duckets since they don't have to buy their girl a gift OR they can still unwrap it and take it since they still have the receipt because there is like, 15 days before the big day? The love thing is stoned right now, officially. So glad that I am not in that category for the moment.

But enjoy a little 'Yeezy for your afternoon heartbreak and even though you and your girl are no longer an item, I am sure you will be at the club in a few weeks meeting a new tender. Mark the tape F-R-E-S-H. (LOL--yes, I am talking 'bout u).

Say what you want about 808's, Kanye brought it with Heartless. Yup!

Oh and to read what 'Ye had to say about his "supposed" poor record sales (I think that 450,000 units in this day and age during the first week is good outstanding but that's just me. You know I stan for Kanye), click HERE.

Note to Alexis : Thanks For Being The Muse for A Great Album

808s and Heartbreak.

Dope title of Kanye's latest effort. Dope CD. For those of you that think that 808s suck simply don't get it. The album is moody, melodic, and steeped with progression and plenty of influences of some of the greats in music such as Marvin Gaye, Kraftwerk, Herbie Hancock, and Prince. I am going to write a full review for the album later (I listened to tracks 1 through 10 on my way to work, I have 2 more to listen to). But this blog is not about the album per se.

It's about the person who inspired Kanye to go down a more musically dark and creative road this time out.

Alexis, girl, you must have the bomb stuff! Almost every song is about you. Kanye is clearly speaking to you through this album, sho' nuff. Saying stuff like when he touches your neck he can feel your soul and he still fantasizes about you. He hates you. He loves you. He misses you. He can't break free. He's not thinking about you. He is thinking about you. Nikkuh is all twisted up and the result of it is a West album less hip-hop and more sythesized and melodic than every before.

Ye is a tortured soul right now.

Don't know much about the break-up that became the anthesis of this album. From what I heard in the gossip set, Alexis didn't show much "love" after the death of his mother. Then again, I also heard he was cheating too. And she was as well. Like he said in 'Heartless', no one knows what went on between the two. But whatever it was, it resulted in the termination on their engagement and relationship.

He hasn't been the same ever since.

I thought they were going to get back together when I saw the both of them a few months ago at Fashion Week in NY. But I guess the reunion was short-lived.

Alexis, how does it feel to break the heart of one of hip-hop's most creative souls? I for one would like to be a fly on the wall while you listen to the songs. Are you a woman scorned? Are you happy you two broke up? Are you sad? LOL. Enquiring minds wanna know!

"I Wanna Be In Love...But I'm Working On Me First..."

Awesome topic, eh? A friend of mine whom I met on the Internet and I were chatting on Yahoo messenger and it had been awhile since we really chatted other than hi and bye and that type of stuff. Anyway, I asked him if he was married yet because he used to talk about settling down all the time and it had been awhile and he went on to say that he was still single and it was mostly because women didn't know what they wanted (go figure) and then he said something really profound, and it caught me off guard because you rarely hear it anymore, especially from a 28 year old. He said he was "just trying to get himself together mentally, financially, and spiritually" before he was going to be able to really commit to a woman on that level. I sat back and applauded him silently because it was a very on point thing to say.

The loneliness can set in and the need for sex and companionship and all that comes with having a relationship with a BOO has been the focus of many 20 and 30 somethings but at the same time, how can we give ourselves to someone else when we aren't even ready? Not ready in the sense of being ready to be in an exclusive relationship, but ready in the sense of having our ish together so that we come to the table with plenty to offer. I mean, how can we be with someone whom we expect to have it together when we aren't able to say the same? I am so proud of my little homie because he brought that back into prospective for me. Not that I didn't know that already because TRUST, I do, but it's easy as a human and as a female in this world of ours to forget the basics and get caught up in the rapture.

Speak on it....

Kanye, Sit'cho Ass Down!

Kanye. I love you. I get all warm and fuzzy and stalkerish when I think of you. That song Em had several years back called Stan, well I Stan for you Yeezy. I would like nothing more than to be your wifey and cook your dinner and iron your clothes and write your blog, but if you flip out and assualt another photog, imma have to start stanning for 50 Cent. Really, 'Ye, why do you keep getting into it with the Paps? Are they really impeding your life that much that you have to assault them and catch a case? Kanye, sit'cho ass down somewhere and make headlines with your music, not with hitting folks. I'm done! I can't have a Babydaddy that has a criminal record....(hmm....that kinda limits the dating pool, huh?) LOL.

To read about Kanye's latest arrest, click HERE.