Your Ego (A Rant)

This ego thing is out of control. It is causing a particular person in my life to play games, water down, dumb down, his feelings. This person isn't a liar by any means BUT if he doesn't tell me how he really feels, isn't that the same as lying? He is a man and I am a woman and you would think that would be enough for the both of us to keep it 100 at all times but it seems that it is not.

Ego's getting in the way and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

We met sometime ago. So this isn't something new. This isn't a new path or a new journey or a new anything. It was before but it's not now. Now is the time when we sit down and talk and determine which direction we are to go. Now he can sit there and act like he doesn't have any feelings for me or we are just friends or homies or buddies or pen pals but the fact of the matter is pretending is for children. I long for the opportunity to share my world with him. I don't want to be his woman but I could. I don't want to be serious but I could. I don't have to have these things but, yes, it would be nice.

Ego's getting in the way.

There are things that have been spoken between us, and yet there are things that haven't. The unsaid is more powerful. There is a connection, an inate force the brought us together but I am willing to bet that same force can tear us apart. I want to be done but I also want to give Mr. Ego one last chance to see if he can hop off of his high horse and show me some love. Anything. A sign. Wave a banner. Send an e-mail. A text. Write it in the sky.

There are more questions than answers, but hell, I am tired of making the first move. I've chased pavements a little too long. Maybe I've run out of concrete. And maybe you've changed. Adieu.