Sunday, January 4, 2009

Homeless. Gypsy Woman.

Most of you are familiar with the Crystal Waters tune from 1991 called Gypsy Woman in which she sang about a homeless woman against a thumping house beat. Well, I was literally a gypsy woman a few years ago and was officially homeless for about two months. Below is a recount of how that unfolded and how I found redemption.

In the fall of 1998, I was tired of struggling and barely getting by. My son at that time was 4 years old and I was a single mother. My son's father wasn't contributing that much financially due to his recent arrest for selling drugs, so it was all on me to provide for the welfare of our child. I was making about $7.00 at that time and living in Florida where I was in an area known as Safety Harbor near Clearwater. I was paying about $550 per month rent for a two bedroom apartment and about $95 per week for daycare. In addition, I also had a car note, car insurance, utility bills, etc. etc. and with my wage, it was hard to make ends meet with no additional contributions.

So I came up with this brilliant idea to move to Atlanta. A friend of mine's sister lived there was needing a secretary for her up and coming business and was willing to pay me $11 per hour. Thinking I was on a come up, I gave a 30 day notice to my apartment building and gave notice to my employer, and began selling off my furniture because I was going to start fresh in Atlanta. I cashed in my 401k at the company I was working in and made the necessary plans to move.

My dad agreed to let my son stay with him in St. Louis for a few months until the Christmas holiday while I was in transition. The plan was after I got settled, I would fly back to St. Louis to retrieve my son. The day before I was due to leave, a series of events happened. My 401k was deposited in my bank account, but my account was levied because I owed past due taxes. The IRS took everything in the account so I had no money to move. My last paycheck was also deposited in my account and that was taken too.

I was going to need a few weeks to hustle up some more money before my move but I was told by employer that they had already hired someone to take my place and they were starting that next Monday. I then called my new employer in Atlanta and told her it would be a few weeks until I would have the money to move and she then told me not to even bother coming because she needed someone like yesterday and was going to hire someone else if I didn't get there ASAP. I had already sold all of my furniture and had to leave my apartment at the end of the weekend because my complex had rented it out.

The only good thing at this time was that my son was already in St. Louis so I didn't have to worry about him. My Aunt had flew in from St. Louis for my father and she and my son flew back.

I had only $100.00 to my name.

I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I didn't have any money or nowhere to go. 

My mother and I weren't talking at this time because I called her out on her shit with her drug abuse. My best friend and I weren't talking because she owed me money and didn't want to pay me. When it came to Florida, I didn't have many friends left. That was one of the many reasons why I wanted to leave. The "friend" who's sister I was going to work for in Atlanta stopped taking my phone calls. I had no one.

I called my dad about the job offer falling through but I didn't have the nerve to tell him I was broke. He was taking care of my son and helping me out, so I didn't want to ask for even more when he was doing so much for me already.

So I took what possessions I had and loaded it in my Neon and basically began living out of my car. I found a job working through a temp agency and began working right away as a receptionist. I worked during the day, slept in the car at night, usually in a Denny's parking lot. And in the wee hours in the morning before the sunlight came up, I would wash up in the Denny's bathroom or a hotel lobby bathroom which was next door and get dressed. No one at work knew I was homeless. I dressed well. Hair was done. Make-up applied. I didn't smell. No one was the wiser.

This was such a scary time. I had a cell phone (PrimeCo) that I was able to keep during this unfortunate event, so I would talk on the phone to mere acquaintances to keep myself awake at night. When I couldn't fight the sleep anymore, I would make sure the doors were locked, turn on the radio, and get in the backseat and let the music lull me to sleep. Every car that passed, every person that walked by, I woke up and acted like everything was normal. It was so hard putting on this act day in and day out. But I did it. And I did it well.

It was November and December in Florida and although it didn't get really cold, there were nights that I would turn my car on in intervals and run the heat so I wouldn't freeze. I missed all of my favorite shows without a television. I had no idea what was going on in the world or the news until I got to work each day. I was living a double life.

On the weekends, on the Friday I got paid each week, I stayed in a hotel where I enjoyed sleeping in a real bed and taking a real shower. It was like heaven to me.

Towards the end of December, right before Christmas, I saved up enough money for a small one bedroom apartment in St. Petersburg. I was elated even though it was nothing like the apartment I had before. At least I had a roof over my head and I would have heat and a shower, and a kitchen to fix meals.

Every time now that I get down, I think of this time in my life. I think of the pride that I had during this time and the fact that that pride, that inability to ask for help resulted in me sleeping in my car every night. 

I am so thankful God watched over me during that time and that nothing bad happened to me. I was also thankful that I was able to get out of that situation quickly. I never want to go back to living like that again.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Moving, really. I always tell people that homelessness can happen so quickly and to anyone. I've seen and felt it myself. I salute you sis.

-sedat30

Jillian said...

the saying God never gives us more than we can handle comes to mind...but sometimes it can seem overwhelming and confusing...

i admire your perseverance to get thru it and not let it consume you...many people would have given up and not found a way...i do hope however you are more comfortable asking for help if needed..i struggle with that too, but sometimes all you need to do is ask.. :)

thanks for sharing..

Naturally Alise said...

Wow. just wow. What an inspiring and heart wrenching tale... You know you have a new blog stalker right??? lol

NightFall914 said...

Getting down is one thing, but if we stay down is what defines us. That's inspirational tale of the human spirit and our innate ability to adapt. Experiences like that help to keep a person humble and appreciative of all the little things. I was homeless for like 3 when I was 6 so believe me. I feel you.

[flahy] [blak] [chik] said...

I always tell my friends, that most people are one paycheck away from being homeless.

I had one friend out in San Jose, who lived out of her car for 3 months, while her son lived with his father.

Anonymous said...

Wow this story is serious, and on top of everything you lived out of a Neon aka no room. If I had a hat on I would take it off to you, you're definitely a strong individual.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful testimony....God Bless you!

ari said...

very beautiful testimony makes me realize my blessings even more.God is good all the time

Unknown said...

I hear you mama , more than I will put out on here..

Luvvie said...

WOWWWW!!! Thats awe-some. You definitely epitomize the strong shoulders of us Black women. Yes, I agree with Alise. I am a fan of this here blog!!!